Just Keep Swimming

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Dear Quiet Minds,

For any college student who has decided to take a summer class, I’m praying for you.

I’m only taking two summer classes and already I feel like I’m drowning. My hands are splashing around sporadically, trying to keep my head above water. I have always tried to maintain a positive outlook on my schoolwork but every time, professors decide to make it manageable for a few weeks and then all at once, they schedule a ton of essays, exams and pointless assignments for one week. I’m in that miserable week and it pains me to say that this isn’t the end of it. Even writing this blog post brought a dark cloud over me. It’s very upsetting when the hobbies I enjoy become a hassle when all I want to do is relax and enjoy my summer. I feel like I’m doing as much as I possibly can but the second I take a moment to look up, I realize that I haven’t made a dent in the piles and piles of work I have left.

Maintaining good grades has always been my goal in middle school, high school and now college, but I feel like as I get older it’s becoming more like an obstacle rather than a goal. Since I have always done well, allowing this obstacle to defeat me seems like a failure. If I can do it, why allow myself to fail? Unfortunately, this mindset has dominated my life. School has become everything and I can’t let go of the fact that I don’t want to fail. Many people tell me that I have to let loose. Whatever happens happens (mmhmm… as if it’s that easy). Let’s be real here, letting go of a habit is extremely hard, especially when doing well determines your grade which determines your future. If you fail one class, then the world comes crumbling down and that’s it: your life is over. For many people, this may seem like an over-exaggeration, but for those overachievers reading this, they know what I’m talking about. Right now, I’m holding on as best I can. I keep dog paddling my way out of the water, but professors keep adding more buckets of work. Of course, it’s not like I was already submerged in water.

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Despite all this, I’m still trying to stay positive. I’m meticulously planning out my days, hoping that I can somehow squeeze in a little bit of enjoyment into my schedule before this memorial weekend ends. Hopefully, anyone else who is suffering can see that they are not alone. We will eventually get to enjoy our summer (unless you’re taking Summer C then honey I’m praying for you). Anyway, try not to let yourself drown. If you need help, make sure to talk to the people around you so they know what you’re going through. Maybe, you’ll find someone who is willing to pull you out of the deep end. Also, make sure to give yourself some free time to stop thinking about school and have a good laugh whether it be because you’re watching something funny or because you’re slowly going insane, either way try to disconnect. Find a way to be happy because happiness will keep you afloat and make it all worth it. Just remember that in a few weeks the torture will be over.

Until then, Dory said it best, just keep swimming.

Love,
Jackie

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